I'm in the darkroom right now because I have nothing else to do and I don't want to go and talk to my photography teacher. I hate her so so so much. She is not helping me at all with my mock, and she's just worrying me so much by saying "I don't think this is enough...." and giving me looks like 'omgyourworksucks' and I just want to take an iron and flatten/scald her face. She looks like a slitheen. She is not offering any help and is telling me to worry about it tomorrow, when I only have 8 days until my mock photography exam. I am seriously freaking out, I was having a panic attack/mini breakdown in the darkroom a few minutes ago thinking about it. I have to remind myself to breathe.

): She is a poo. I want Mr. E back. I want to slap anyone who says he is a bad teacher, because he really isn't. He is a great teacher, and my sisters favourite teacher of all time. If I don't get him for IB I am going to try and see if I can switch classes to his.

THIS IS SUCH A BUMMER POST. I WANT TO BE HAPPY AND HAVE FUN BUT I CAN'T I HAVE TO WAIT TWO WEEKS TO BE HAPPY/UNSTRESSED.

I really want to eat some grilled cheese.

Formspring:
youre one angry girl, why dont you talk to your friends if you have problems with them anw?
Because I'm not very good with talking about my problems and I don't want them to take offence. They don't really like to get into fights or cause drama, and I don't want to either. So I live with it. Oh, and thank you by the way for judging me. :|


Wow, that got me real down, and got me thinking about making this journal Friends Only.


Not such an exciting weekend. Went over to my friends house for dinner which was fun. :P Watched some of Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, which is such a funny movie. I need to rewatch. On saturday I had to go to school at 10 to work on photography, which is worrying me so much since we only have like a week left and I am freakin' out! BLARGHAUDSA FUCK I WANT TO GET THIS DAMN MOCK OVER WITH RIGHT NOW I'M PROBABLY GOING TO HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN IN THE DARKROOM GOD DAMMIT.

Then at night, I was going to go out with my friends (if you know what I mean) but I realised I couldn't get out of the house without my parents giving me a card key to get back in and I need that card key and I can't ring the house because then my parents would know. Ah, well. Next time. I ended up watching Freaks and Geeks 'till 2am. GOOD TIMES. GOOD TIMES.

Now it's sunday and I'm going to go get my new glasses.

1. I hate people who think that they can tell people what to do, and think that they are entitled to things. This is to someone specifically. It pisses me off to no end. You don't have the right to tell anyone what to think or how to act, ok? I mean, I don't share interests with a lot of people, and I think what they like is badly made, or I don't like it, but I don't bash them for liking it.

2. Finally, good television shows are starting up again! How I Met Your Mother! Glee! The Big Bang Theory! (LOL NOT HEROES IT SUCKS NOW.) Ok, let me rephrase that: Shows that I watch. I want to start watching Dexter and some other shows... D: I need to watch Firefly already. BLARGH.

3. Been getting rawther irritated with specific persons, not only to do with number 1. PLEASE PERSON, TRY TO BE MORE SUBTLE IF YOU ARE LEAVING ME OUT. :\

shit shit shit i think my inner ear balance thingamo is going out of whack again because I really feel like I'm on a boat. OH HA HA HA. IT'S NOT A BIG BLUE WATERY ROAD. xD

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I need nicer icons. Boo. More subtle, less geekey ones. 8D

Anywho~

I have homeworks. Blaaaaaaargh.
I have:
- Some random math crap due tomorrow which I probably won't do
- Chemistry test on Wednesday
- English essay on Apocalypse Now due on Wednesday
- Some random physics crap I probably won't do due on Wednesday
- Business test on Friday
- Physics 'formal assignment' on Friday
- Business coursework to work on
- MY FUCKING PHOTOGRAPHY PROJECT BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGSJDKEW

This probably isn't much to other people but BLAARRRGH FUUUUU can't i just sleep for the rest of my life plz

Friday was the start of Rosh Hashanah, which means going to the UHC and talking to smelly old people and annoying little children and there is hardly anyone my age there WHO IS TOLERABLE, except for this one guy who is very awkward but nice, so I generally just stick with Tamara and we just huddle together in the corner drinking 7-Up or grape juice. My parents always force us to wear heels and stuff but everyone just comes in jeans and I don't see why. Next time, I'm coming in shorts, I don't give.

In 7 days I will have to fast. BUUUH. That means next Monday i will have to decide whether I want to numb my mind with prayers or to go to school and do work but be with my friends and have distractions. And not having to spend extra time with the other Jews.

Oh, my sister got me a Lubitel 166+! IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. I've already shot 3 rolls with it and it has been in my possession for like 2 days. Which is good for me because I feel bad when I use alot of 120mm film. I need to try using it with 35mm film because it came with an adaptor.
I really want to get a 50mm f1.8 lens for my Canon 450D because it is a really good lens that I should have at all times, apparently, so YES i want one. They are really good for low light and portraits so ME WANTS.


POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. bored.

So, I got my hair dyed! Instead of having my red/brownish weird in between colour with my dark brown roots, my hair is BLACK/BROWN! WOOT! I look more European, in my opinion. My family say that I look older. WHICH IS GOOD FOR ME! :D

Last time I got my hair dyed, apparently people were saying either that they liked it or that they thought it was ugly. Frankly, I don't really give. It's my hair, remember? Not yours. So you can just kindly shut the fuck up. :) Seriously, don't you have anything else better to do? It's not like I'm attracted to any of you, so how you think I look is not really a priority or whatever. If I think I look nice, or if my hair is spiffy one way the other, THEN THATS ALL I NEED. Ok?

I wish it was easier to say that for everything though...

Ah, well. I am majorly procrastinating my homework, which is probably going to get me in trouble but I really don't feel well, (cramps etc) and my head hurts. ): I need to be less lazy around this time, but GUH. I just... No, can't do it right now. I just want to lie in bed and READ OR PLAY SUDOKU OR WATCH WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY. That's what I would love to do for the rest of my life! If they had a nonstop supply of Whose Line Is It Anyway. With good jokes. Because then I couldn't watch it for the rest of my life. But I could play Sudoku for the rest of my life. I love it so.

Anywho. I have english homework about Apocalypse Now. It was a good movie but GOD IT WAS SO LONG. I wanted to fall asleep! 3 hours is too long just sitting down doing nothing. I can't do that! I mean, I can't watch a war movie for 3 hours. That's like watching 2 movies. In a row. About war. About America. Well, duh. But it just dragged on for me. The really interesting part is right at the end, where the guy kills the other guy, (I honestly can't remember their names), and at the same time, the villager people are sacrificing the cow. Apparently that part was real, the sacrfice. You could see the insides of the cow as they like chopped it up into 6 different parts while it was just standing there! It was pretty intense, but interesting. I wanted to watch it again, because it was a very important part of the movie, but the girls in my class were like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". Buh.

Graaaaaaah. I should go do productive things.

ETA: 10 DAYS 'TILL HEROES! :D :D :D

Friday was an interesting night. I shan't talk about it here though as this is a public forum. xD That stuff is for my diary.

Anywho~ To less interesting topics, I'VE BEEN RE-READING HARRY POTTER AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY. I don't understand why, but it just makes me want to jump up and down and read it constantly. My friends are just like 'wtf', except for my friend Cassandra, who used to be my best friend in grade 2, with whom I roleplayed Harry Potter during lunch times in Grade 2. IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY. I've just finished Chamber of Secrets and I'M SO HAPPY I GET TO READ THE THIRD ONE NEXT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THATS MY FAVOURITE ONE OMGGGGG~

*squee*

In terms of TV, I want to start watching Dexter. Is it good? Recommendations for any other shows? Anyone? Not Supernatural, because I don't want to watch it because a) batshit fangirls b) to spite Russell T Davies because I am an immature poo. OH YES MERLIN.

10 DAYS UNTIL I CAN WATCH HEROES (ILLEGALLY ): )

IS IT THE 22ND OF SEPTEMBER YET? IS IT CHRISTMAS YET? DAMN IT I WANNA SEE DAVID TENNANT REGENERATE. WELL, NOT HIM, TEN.

I hope it will be really hilarious and be him tripping over like, a brick or something. I don't know. Something stupid. xD Although that would be HORRIBLE. And we all know that that's not going to happen when the Master is back. And we know that the Master is not going to be ~*let's explore the universe together forever*~ like I would LOVE, as we see Amy Pond with 11. Unless they do something like *and the Master and the Doctor travelled together until they both regenerated then went seperate ways* but NOOOOOO. RTD wants to leave his doctor ~scarred~ and ~emotionally raw~, in other words emo and deppressed because EVERYBODY LEAVES HIM/EVERYONE DIES AROUND HIM BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Wow everything I post here always turns out to be connected with Fandom or something. Well, I guess this is more like a fandom, fangirling journal than anything, because I don't really want to share intimate thoughts with the Internet where it is highly improbable that I will be able to erase that information off in the future.

Oh ginger man on my bus.
WHY MUST YOU BE SO GODDAMNED PRETTY WITH YOUR HAIR COLOUR

I will dedicate (a) haiku(s) to you:

Ging, you are sexy.
In your pinstriped shorts, you stretch.
Refrigerator.

Your hair shines brightly,
Like an orange or Fanta
Hippopotamus.

AND THAT MY FRIENDS, IS THE EXTENT OF MY WRITING ABILITY.
That was actually incredibly difficult for me. STFU.

I am very frustrated for some reason. My forehead feels very tense. It's not relaxing easily. I always get that when I'm angry, my forehead always feels like it's been used alot because I raise my eyebrows or something.

I wonder if there is such thing as a face massage.

Lalalalalalalala

Tamara's home and life is good for the most part besides my photography and english homework is piling up on me because I am lazy ATM. But for all other subjects I've done everything quite diligently

I went to Zirca the other day with my friends. The good? Being thought that I am 18 and above and having fun with my friends. The bad? Being practically molested by one dude and having a 30 year old swedish man try and pick me up.

NO THANK YOU.

Any who, MY SISTER IS COMING BACK TODAY FROM THE HOSPITAL WOOT WOOT WOOT THIS IS VERY EXCITING! I can finally watch Torchwood with her IF MY STUPID COMPUTER ACTUALLY FUNCTIONS PROPERLY. I'm currently using my mum's desktop, my laptop is so slow today and is making my blood pressure rising to immeasurable points.

Oh, school has started again. Woo hoo. I forgot how much I hate my photography teacher. It's actually sad how arragant she is. I don't get it, if she's so good at photography, why does she still only have a Canon handycam? I mean, apparently she's doing a degree. :/ Yeah, whatever. She told us that only she knows what's good and what's bad, and we don't so basically our work is crap unless we show her what we are doing. Gee, thanks. And then she points out what is horrible in everyone's work and humiliates them in front of everyone. It's quite embarrassing. But I'm kinda glad to be back, I am happy to start doing science again. I like science, I hated it before, but it just takes patience. And I sorta missed math for some reason. LOL.

Oh, before the grade 10s leave for study leave, they have a dress up day. I'm planning to go as Hermione or something like that. HEE. I would have to get the whole get up! Which would be awesome because I really like the uniforms for Hogwarts, they are actually quite nice, but I would never have a chance to wear that again.

AND THIS YEAR I AM ALLOWED TO GET CONTACTS. THANK THE FUCKING LORD. I just need to get rid of my eyebags.

Oh, one of my friends told me that I am not a Hufflepuff, but a Ravenclaw. I don't know what I want anymore.. D':

Well, my sister is now back in the ward! Yay! After 20 days in the ICU, she's finally back. My mum is now back in the ward with her, so now it's just me and my dad. I know have know what's its like to be in a divorced family for more than two months.

I would pick to stay with my mum. My dad's terrible with technology/housework.

I'm so so so happy. :D

Sooooooo. Today I went to Orientation for the FIBs. It was... Interesting? They seem like nice enough people, just a little scared? Shy? I have no idea what goes through a new persons mind, I've been at the same school since grade 1. University is going to be SO SCARY. They're probably all going to end up hanging out with each other, because from what I've heard the FIBs always end up doing that because we never have any classes with them. I've made friends with a couple of them so they don't have to stick with them if they don't want to, hahaha. xD

Afterwards, some of my friends and I went to Holland Village for SUSHI TEI! WOOH! They don't have any vegetarian dishes so I ended up eating chicken and I felt SO DISGUSTING AND BLOATED afterwards! I think I'm going to keep at this vegetarian business, not on principle but for the sake of my poor stomach. I seriously felt disgusting afterwards. But if I eat the occasional meat that's ok. But since I ate meat today, I feel so angry with myself! I said one month! I ONLY HAVE 1 WEEK LEFT WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME JESUS. I'm going to have to add on another week of vegetarianism just for my stupidity.

Then we went around orchard. We went to the ion. It was crowded. I was uncomfortable. :/ I will go and explore properly in a couple of months. I was just in the basement so I felt doubly closed off because there were no windows and no visible exits. It's seriously huge

And afterwards I went to the hospital to visit Tamara and we watched Shaun of the Dead. She's looking so much better today! Yesterday she was really nervous but now she's fine. Her lung specialist came and told us what was going on. He says the more she walks, the faster it will take for her lungs to be up and running as per normal again. Now she doesn't have the huge machine but she has this little hole because she has fluid in her lungs and they need to suction it out every so often. As soon as they take that tube thing-amo, and they put the gauze on the wound, she'll be able to talk again! Which will obviously improve everything. It must be so FRUSTRATING.

Fuck, my head hurts. I think I'm tired, I had to fight myself falling asleep during Shaun of the Dead. Which means I'm really tired because I really loved the movie. Drinking water is not helping at all. ):

I have nothing of interest to say other than that the weight that I have lost from working out this holiday has all been gained back in the last 4 days. Mind you, it wasn't a lot of weight but enough to make me happy. Guh. Damn you Pushing Daisies, making me craves pies!
Guh. I'm just not motivated now!

There's this Singapore Comic and Toy convention thingamo happening soon, so I might go with my friend. I don't really know anything about what's going to be there, mainly because I don't read comics/ watch Anime, but it makes for an interesting time, y/y?

I need to start making resolutions for next school year. I really don't want to get back into that horrible 'habit', if you can call it that. Because... HAH. It doesn't even come close! Anyways, I want to get better grades, I mean my grades are good, but I don't get any 7s. And it makes me feel like an idiot, considering my friends are really smart, always like 'I only got 90% on my math test... Boo hoo, my parents are going to kill me.' I hate being the only white person. xD I hate it how teachers/adults are always telling us smaller people that we should 'never compare ourselves to others and do our personal best'. Mmmhmm. :/

Well, my sister is getting better. She's going to be back up in her ward tomorrow, if everything goes according to plan. :D My parents told me that she got up today and started to walk around. Which is FANTASTIC. She's been in bed for 2 months. And she's lost so much weight. :( She hasn't been able to eat for 3 weeks or so until recently. Yesterday she had some minced chicken, albeit a very, very tiny amount. But she's making progress. She had ice cream. xD

I miss being able to have a conversation with her, because she had to have a tracheotomy to help her breathe. It's really strange because we both love to talk and we are always interrupting each other except now it's just me rambling on and her writing down short replies on a clipboard. But it's ok! I plan to play cluedo with her and we've been playing hangman when she's in the ICU. And she's been watching tons of movies and televisions shows on DVDs that I've brought her, so that's good! I ordered Firefly from Amazon and it arrived so we can watch it when she back in the ward. :D

It's really hard to think that I was so sad about not being able to leave Singapore this summer holiday because that was so immature of me. I was so worried about Tamara, yet I was so upset about not going to Paris? What the hell? Stupid stupid stupid stupid!

Ah, well. Now it's back to school and having to listen to everyones ~*amazing summers*~ which were just ~brilliant~ and then they're going to ask me why I didn't go anywhere and I'll have to explain everything and then they're going to pretend to be concerned about my sister even though they are just waiting for their turn to talk again and I'm going to want to punch them in the nuts. :)

God, I really really really miss my sister right now. D: I really want someone to play Cluedo with right now. I haven't played Cluedo in ages and I would always play with her and Chase. I miss them both so fucking much.

LOL I FEEL SO PATHETIC RIGHT NOW

I just met someone REALLY AWESOME over Omegle and added them on MSN. He's 17 and canadian. He likes Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and Star Wars.


I never do that. 8D


School is coming... D': I haven't started on my frickin' summer homework! GAH.

Today, my mum told me to go on the balcony to get some vitamin D.

I went outside. It was too bright. I went back in.



I'm becoming a hermit.

I am typing this from my handphone, because I'm in a resturant con mis padres. Esta noche, comi unas espaggetis con una salsa picante.

I probably spelt espagghetis wrong. Hee. Oh well.

Anywho, I've been doing nothing in this holiday at all and I've got 16 days left of it. I've also have english and photography work to do. Yay. oh well, some people have extended essays to do, hahahahah.

The only remotly exciting thing that has happenedlately is that I got a new alarm clock. Sounds sad, no? Oh well, it could be much worse, i shouldn't complain at all, it's unfair to everyone. :(

Vao, my dad has this glass of red wine which is as thick as kosher grape juice, which you can't see through. Intense. I don't really like alocohol unless it's in a mojito or an martini of some sort. Or champagne. Mmmmmm. Thats the good stuff.

Couscous is so strange yet delicious. My dad is eating some right now.

Wow this is turning out to be a really boring entry.

I have literally nothing to say except I'm bored with Singlapoo and am waiting for my friends to come back so we can go ice skating. Which i really want to, despite not have gone since i took ice skating lessons. And they are going to teach me how to ride a bike. :D exciting

Attempting to organize my room, it's making me nervous, being so cluttered.

Finished my french lessons! Yaaaaaaay! I got a certificate. o.O I just did 10 lessons. Now this means that I ask for directions in broken french! WOOH. Yeah, I've accomplished so much over the summer. *eyeroll*

I have 3 weeks left of holiday. Damn it, I'm so bored, but I don't want to go back. Guh. I have done nothing this holiday, it's all been wasted. But my sister is still in hospital. I want her to get better already. It's been way too long. 2 months. 2 long months. She's been really weak and now she's in the ICU because she can't breathe properly. I really miss her. :(


Anyway. I've been watching Whose Line Is It Anyway? (the US version) into the wee hours of the morn' for the past week, and last night I was watching this one episode (well, more like listening to it while playing Sudoku) and Colin made this REALLY HILARIOUS JOKE. It was during the game 'Weird Newscasters' and he was the normal one, and he made up a news story that went ... AH SHIT NOW I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THE SET UP IS. :/ It was funny and had to do with knick knack paddy wack. AHAHA it was funny.

Oooh I watched the episode of Star Trek TOS where Spock goes into PON FARR. Oh subtext, you were everywhere.

I attempted to make a wallpaper the other day with promo pics of the 11th doctor and Amy Pond (lul, what a name). Meh, it's not wonderful.

Torrenting the first two episodes of Firefly to see if I like it. And Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Yes, I've never watched Buffy. I KNOW RIGHT. And Flight of the Conchords series 2. I've watched the first couple episodes.

ALL THE LADIES THEY BE CHECKING OUT MY SUGAH LUMPS. SWEET SUGAH LUMPS. (yeaaaaah)


I have been rewatching all the Harry Potter movies because I want to re read the books soon, but I know that I won't be able to. D: And I got thinking, which house would I be? I remember when I was little I really wanted to be in Ravenclaw, but whenever I took the stupid quiz on the Harry Potter website, it said that I should be in Hufflepuff. STFU WEBSITE. Oh well, now I'm ok with being in Hufflepuff. Either one is good. But I honestly don't know which one I would be in if the sorting hat was real. I wouldn't be Gryffindor, because I am not nearly brave enough, and I know I wouldn't be in Syltherin because I am not 'destined for greatness'.  So, that leaves Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. Meh.

You can tell I'm bored.

I need this book in my life.

I have had nothing to do lately, so basically been moping around my room playing sudoku and going on the internet. Need to get "Almost Perfect" from the Torchwood book series. IT HAS IANTO WAKING UP AS A GIRL OK. I need cheering up Torchwoodwise.

Buuuuh. Finished Love in the Time of Cholera. I got bored with it, mostly because it's romance. Romance bores me. Not because it's romance, because most of the time, there is nothing exciting going on. Or funny. Now I'm reading a play, The Importance of Being Earnest. I have to read it for English, but I'm happy, it's good so far.

MY SUDOKU BOOK IS FILLING UP.

I have only 2 french lessons left! Yaaaaaay~

I am sad about Ianto dying. I thought Children of Earth was fantastic. But, I want Ianto back. So, I did what every other fan would do, sign some online petition and send a complaint into the BBC website.

I was polite and everything, saying how much I loved Ianto and Children of Earth, but how I thought it was unnessecary.

Now, I don't know if this is personalized or not, but I sent it in sometime ago, and I got a reply today. This is the reply.

Thanks for your e-mail regarding 'Torchwood - Children of Earth'.

We appreciate that you were unhappy that Ianto Jones was killed off.

It is rightly heartbreaking for Ianto to die in this season of 'Torchwood'. We had established that its characters are involved in dangerous, life threatening work and that the myth of 'Torchwood' is that its people ‘die young’. Ianto’s death is particularly poignant and right for the story because it puts great pressure on the character of Captain Jack. Captain Jack has to pay the ultimate price, given the sins of the past and his own tragic immortality.

We do acknowledge your concerns, however, and we'd like to assure you that we’ve registered your complaint on our audience log. This is a daily report of audience feedback that’s circulated to many BBC staff, including members of the BBC Executive Board, channel controllers and other senior managers.

The audience logs are seen as important documents that can help shape decisions about future programming and content.

Thanks again for taking the time to contact us.

Regards

BBC Complaints

Not only does it directly address my concern, BUT OMG HOW COOL IS THAT?!?!?!?!@?!?@>!?!!/1eleven!!!!
Yes, I also posted this to my dA. TOO DAMN COOL.

AND TORCHWOOD MAKE ME CRY MY EYES OUT. THEY WERE DRY AFTERWARDS. I was watching it at 1 am, and I went to bed afterwards.

IANTO NOOO

Never the less, CoE was wonderfully written. For the first 3 episodes. I felt episode 5 was underwhelming. And it was just kinda like LOLWTF at the end. :/ But yay for Rose Tyler Davis for writing something good! Yay you! Until he felt the need to kill, yet again, the fan favourite. Think about it, he killed more than half the cast over a period of 5 epsiodes. NO WAY IN HELL AM I WATCHING "The Jack and Gwen Show"! I would watch "The PC Andy and Rhys Show" (With added Myfawny) though. They are made of win. And I believe Myfawny was flying elsewhere when the hub blew up.

*points at icon* I'M MAKING ICONS.